FLEETING FEELINGS

How would it feel to know that you do not feel the same about something you cherish? Sounds stupid right. Why would you not feel the same about your favorites? As nonsensical it is, it's a very common notion. The 'feelings' we talk about, do they always exist? Well some feelings do like the grief of losing someone you might say but, how long is that? It passes too. You have not forgotten about about it, you're just adapted to it. Losing someone might have same effects on many people but, there are other feelings we stumble upon everyday which are more specific to you as an individual.

The teen sprouted romance and friendships are the most magical moments of life. We wish to be in the same carefree, fun-loving surroundings. Drifting away with overwhelming feelings of love, desperation, sorrow and happiness. But does that stay same? Do I want to talk to my friends all day? YES I do. Does this 'YES I do' change? It does. Do I want to fall in love? YES I do. Do I stay in once found love? No. Does it get boring? It does. Is it his/her fault? No. Is it my fault? No. This change, of letting something go once I desperately wanted, sucks right. But it is what it is. We get into things and get out of things. That defines how I wanted to go at Grandma's badly every year except this one, I don't feel like going there. I and supposedly you went past many things we've gradually let go off, and that's not a bad thing. We experience, understand and analyse and make sure we'd not let certain feelings interfere, and no I don't mean it for your carrier or studies even if it sounds like that. What I mean is change in feelings are like a defense mechanism, once you get past your bad experience you experience something in new light.

As we grow we are influenced by people, surroundings, books, movies, the social network these things define us. As bad it sounds, getting influenced is super easy nowadays this might change your feelings as well, these are what I call fleeting feelings. It's like a fad. Once we are out of these 'fleeting feelings' you can discard some of them like the unnecessary thoughts you have which you are not ready for.

The notion of love has several such unnecessary thoughts, these are what I call loophole of first love. We have to get back for that, that is before love occurs, it is the desire to fall in love. You have tones of ideas how is it going to be. It's going to be dreamy filled with flowers and no concern and shit. It's like a blueprint of what you want. After making a world in your mind it occurs. 'LOVE'. Does that live up to what you want? It does. How long? A short period of time until it follows your perception of love. What happens beyond that? New feelings emerge. You might discover that you don't want certain things you wished for, or you're not comfortable with some aspects. It might even be that you're not ready for any intense emotions. Some of these feelings are part of friendships too. Like, having expectations, which certainly is not a bad thing but holding onto them for the other party to correspond totally is a mistake. You might say love is all about that. Well yes it is, but do we know how to get past these expectations or other things like misunderstandings and having 'fleeting feelings'? Not really. So here is where the changes in feelings occur and maybe then you would not want to spend as much time together . Defense mechanism at it's peak. The next time you fall in love you would know better. The next time you would have expectations you would know better.

The conclusion is you are not a bad person for having a change in feelings, it's a part of growing. Change in feelings is an unspoken social concord. It's a defense mechanism. It is a code of individuality.

My thoughts today may not be tomorrow's.